…So then I had an insane idea.
I proposed to my very good friend and partner-in-crime a reimagining of season 5, 6, and possibly 7, of Doctor Who, as run by Steven Moffat, one in which River Song was exactly who she claimed to be the first time we saw her - a 51st century archaeologist. Not Amy and Rory’s daughter, not part-Time Lady or whatever, but completely human (or, as human as they got in the 51st century).
And then we decided to write this out.
Moffat, if your character and writing require your fans to do headcanon contortions or write copious amounts of fanfic to fill your flipping plot holes, there are problems with your writing. Thanks for the character, but I’m off to this AU, which I expect to like much, much better.